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ESPR

Metabasis of Ashen Embers · Chapter 9

For You, the Unbeautiful

By the time we escaped the dungeon and made our way into the royal palace, the entire place had descended into chaos.

Palace Attendant A

Run! The palace is collapsing!

Palace Attendant B

The knights! Call the knights back!

Palace Attendant C

Where is His Majesty?! We need to make sure he's safe!

Cristelle

This is pandemonium.

...Though I suppose that's hardly surprising.

Judging by the cracks running across the walls, I wouldn't be surprised if the whole place came crashing down at any moment.

Royal Guard A

The princess has been consumed by the plague!

Royal Guard B

All Royal Guard personnel, assemble in the garden!

You:

By the princess, they mean Haydee, right?

You:

Consumed by the plague...?

Cristelle

Haydee...

The garden must be referring to the place we were at earlier.

Captain, do you remember where it was?

You:

...Not really.

Cristelle

Tch... This is bad. I doubt anyone we stop in the middle of all this would give us a proper answer.

The Moving Statue

...

Cristelle

Hmm...?

Where's that statue going?

We can't communicate with it, but...

It almost seems like... it knows the way.

You:

Let's follow it.

As though drawn by something, the statue strode to a familiar door, threw it open, and froze in place.

Haydee

...

Cristelle

...

Haydee. The way you look right now...

...It isn't beautiful.

Haydee, dressed in unfamiliar clothes and staring blankly up at the sky from the center of the garden, slowly met my gaze.

Her clothes, hands, and spear were all smeared with blood that clearly wasn't her own.

You:

Haydee, that blood...

Haydee

...

Instead of answering, Haydee raised a hand and pointed toward one corner of the garden.

The corpses of bloodied palace attendants and knights were piled up high, like a heap of garbage.

Cristelle

Did you do that?

Haydee

...

Cristelle

I suppose all that talk about you being "consumed by the plague" wasn't entirely wrong.

Captain, I fear that may no longer be our Haydee.

You:

What do you mean?

Cristelle

...I can feel immense Void Force coming from Haydee's heart.

Morcerf's doing, no doubt.

Just as she did to me... No. Perhaps Haydee came first.

It's possible that her memory gradually returning was actually a sign that the Void Force sealed inside her body was beginning to break free.

Either way, the Haydee before us has lost all reason.

If we want to bring her back to a state where she can even speak to us...

We have no choice but to beat her into submission.

...She'll attack us any moment now. Be ready.

Haydee

...Shut up. My head hurts. Just shut up.

All of you should just... die.

Cristelle

Ggh...!

You:

Are you okay?!

Cristelle

...I'm fine. She just grazed me, so it's not as bad as it looks.

I didn't expect such a difficult fight... Impressive.

But in the end, I, Cristelle, have triumphed.

Now then, Haydee. What will you do?

No matter how much power you've gained, you can't possibly master strength you just obtained overnight.

Haydee

...Yeah. I lost.

But it doesn't matter.

Victory, defeat... even this life...

None of it means anything anymore.

You:

Haydee, you're back to your senses!

You:

Let's get out of here. The palace is about to collapse.

Haydee

...*Sigh* You really are dense, Captain. You still don't get it?

This Void may have consumed half my body...

But I was already in my right mind by the time you two got here.

Cristelle seemed to notice partway, though.

Cristelle

...Yes. For someone supposedly out of her mind...

It was obvious that you were hesitating to attack us.

You:

What...? Then...

Haydee

Then why did I attack you?

...Of course it was my choice.

You:

But why...?

Cristelle

...Did you want us to kill you? To die at our hands?

Haydee

...

Because... nothing means anything anymore.

You:

What... are you talking about?

You:

You were trying to die...?

Haydee

Exactly.

...I should've been buried beneath the sands and disappeared long ago anyway.

So I might as well die now. Nothing's going to change.

You:

What about your revenge?

Haydee

Revenge...? Heh...

...I remembered everything I'd forgotten for so long.

Who I am, how the kingdom was destroyed...

And that someone like me...

...Doesn't even have the right to seek revenge.

Cristelle

You don't have the right to seek revenge...?

Haydee

Look at all of this. Morcerf didn't kill these people. I did.

I lost my mind and stabbed them, tore them apart, cut them down with my own hands.

The power that blossomed inside me consumed me and turned me into a monster.

I killed everyone who begged for mercy, everyone who cared about me, and destroyed the kingdom.

Morcerf may have planted the seed inside me...

But in the end, I was the one who brought the kingdom down.

That's the memory I had forgotten.

Cristelle

...Haydee. Is that the truth you've uncovered?

Haydee

...Yeah.

I think I understand why I lost my memories.

I probably wanted to forget everything I'd done.

So I could tell myself it wasn't me.

Instead, I denied reality and ran away, all while blaming the sage for everything.

In the end, the hideous, pathetic culprit sealed away even her own memories and buried herself beneath the ruins.

Then, laughably enough, I had the nerve to demand revenge...

But now... I'm done.

Because none of it... means anything anymore.

After uttering those shocking words, Haydee collapsed to the ground and gripped her broken spear.

Then, she pointed its tip at herself.

The spear shaft was knocked away and flew weakly through the air before embedding itself in the ground.

Haydee

Hey...

...Don't interfere. You'll get yourself killed.

The Void planted inside me... is only catching its breath.

Once it starts raging again, I won't be able to control it anymore. Do you understand what I'm saying?

You:

...No!

Haydee

...What's wrong with you?!

This is my decision.

Whether I live or die is none of your business.

Don't act like we're something special just because we spent a single day together.

Revenge was the only thing that kept me going this far.

But... now even that's gone.

So now I'm just putting things back the way they were always supposed to be.

You:

I already made a promise.

You:

I said I'd help you.

Haydee

I'm telling you, I don't need that anymore...!

You... You don't know anything! Stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong!

You:

You're right. I don't.

You:

So I'll save you however I want.

Haydee

...Why? Why would you do that?

If I had to give a reason...

You:

It's because I want to see a different ending.

Haydee

Are you stupid...?

You're forcing this just for a reason like that?

I grabbed Haydee's hand where she sat and pulled her to her feet.

Haydee

...!

You:

There has to be another way.

You:

We can figure out what it is from here.

Haydee

No... This can't be... my memories...

This can't be what really happened...

You:

So what if revenge lost all meaning?

Haydee

That's easy for you to say! But it's not for me!

If...

If you say something like that, then...

You:

Then we'll just find something else that does mean something.

Haydee

...

Why... Why now...?

I thought I'd lost... everything...

I thought it was all over...

Tears welled in Haydee's eyes as her voice began to break, but I couldn't afford to indulge her any longer either.

We had to get out of here before the royal palace collapsed.

I forced Haydee back onto her feet despite her weakened legs.

Cristelle

...As I thought. So this is how it ends.

Unfortunately, we can't take Haydee back with us, Captain.

You:

What? Why?

Cristelle

Because Haydee... has to die here.

Story illustration

Cristelle's gun was pointed directly at Haydee and me.

Cristelle

Captain, step away from her. If you stay where you are, I'll have no choice but to shoot you too.

You:

Why are you doing this...?

Cristelle

Captain, Void has been planted inside Haydee's body.

And the one who planted the seeds of that Void was Morcerf.

Isn't that right, Haydee? You know it too.

Haydee

...Yeah.

Cristelle

Captain. Surely you haven't forgotten our original objective?

My right eye... is no longer human.

It's been completely consumed by the Void Force, so it's closer to the eye of a Voidborn.

Haydee

So basically, we capture the sage who exists in this era... Then Cristelle uses her ability to absorb and analyze her Void.

And that will let us figure out what Morcerf looks like now and where she's hiding.

Cristelle

We may not have found the sage herself, but what truly matters is the Void she left behind.

And right now, it's writhing inside Haydee.

She plants Void inside a human body and cultivates its power.

Then, when that power finally takes control of its host...

Haydee

...A kingdom falls.

That was probably... the final chapter of the forgotten kingdom.

Cristelle

Which makes my choice obvious.

I will kill Haydee and take the Void within her.

You:

Wait... Then what you were about to say earlier was...

Cristelle

If my theory is correct, Haydee is...

When I found Haydee, I...

...

...Yes. Back then, it was merely a suspicion, so I saw no reason to voice it.

Now, that suspicion has become certainty.

You:

But... she's your companion!

Cristelle

A "companion," you say?

I see. So that's how it looked to you.

That just means you were taken in by my act.

You:

Your "act"...?

Cristelle

Yes. It was all an act. Nothing more than a lie.

I used Haydee. I pretended to be a good person and fed her warm words I never meant.

I made sure others saw me that way too. Even forced myself to smile in front of them.

But none of it was ever sincere. That's the kind of person I am.

You:

...

Cristelle

Disappointed, Captain? Because I'm such a wicked person?

But it can't be helped.

From the very beginning, I was... nothing but an empty shell.

I was already like that the moment I first met Haydee.

Everything I have is false. Nothing but appearances.

Someone like me... has no choice but to put on a convincing mask and play a part.

Because there's nothing else left inside me.

Family, friends, my homeland, a quiet and comforting place to sleep at night...

And you expect me to have a warm heart capable of cherishing another person?

Something so soft and sentimental...

I can't even remember when that was taken from me anymore.

You:

...Is there nothing I can do to change your mind?

Cristelle

Fufu... If such a way existed... I would've already found it by now.

You couldn't possibly imagine how many years I've endured, with only the promise of revenge to keep me going.

The cursed power dwelling in my right eye made it impossible for me to die, no matter I desperately I wished for it.

The obsession of someone who lost everything and was denied even the right to escape through death...

You could never understand it.

And... I don't want you to understand. I simply seek to move forward to achieve my goal.

No matter who stands in the way of my revenge, or what I must do to achieve it.

I've already... lived that way for so long. Trampling the innocent, using them, sacrificing them.

Every wicked deed I've committed was for this moment alone.

If I let this opportunity slip away now, I'll once again spend every night being haunted by visions of the day my life was destroyed.

...That is not what I want. So if you stand in my way, Captain, I'll trample you too.

You:

...Then shoot me.

Cristelle

Haha... It seems you're under some misconception...

If you thought I was anything like the others, Captain, then you've made a grave mistake.

This isn't some empty threat meant to frighten you into backing down.

Cristelle's finger settled on the cold trigger.

Cristelle

I have to kill Haydee and seize what I came here for.

Story and illustrations © Studio B-Side. An unofficial reading archive — for questions or requests, see the About page.