Wedding Wars: For the May Bride · Chapter 9
BFB
Epindel
That's...
Heeey!
You're back in one piece!
Carmen
Haha, the Shield of Monastir isn't dented so easily.
But more importantly...
All this time I was feverishly searching for you...
And here you were, getting cozy with another lady, Captain?
H-hey, it's not what it looks like!
Epindel
...Pardon me, Captain, but you wouldn't happen to be denying important facts, would you?
Are you denying the fact that you offered to accompany me?
...Or perhaps the fact you sat me down and l-laid your hand on my leg?
Don't put it that way! You're making it sound weird!
Carmen
Hmm...
So that's how you got hurt—protecting the Captain.
Thank you for your service. I am sure the Captain appreciates it too.
Now that I am here, I will pick up where you left off.
Epindel
Excuse me?
Carmen
I will resume my duty of guarding the Captain.
It would be remiss of me to let someone of your status "accompany" the Captain, only to put your safety on the line.
Epindel
I... I...
Carmen
Please sit here and tend to your wounds. Will that be all right, Captain?
Epindel
Captain...
When I was trying to come up with the right thing to say, suddenly...
Arms Dealer
Excuse me, but I couldn't help but overhear.
From what I'm hearing, both of you intend to take your Captain to a safe place, correct?
In that case, I am most delighted to present to you a solution! Word just came in that the preparations have been made, you know.
I will take your Captain.
Epindel
...I beg your pardon?
Carmen
Pardon?
Arms Dealer
It is exactly as I said! I will personally take him to the church.
Epindel
...I am sorry, but I believe we haven't introduced ourselves.
Arms Dealer
Oh dear me, where are my manners? I forgot that I'm a nobody in these parts.
I am from Faren. An arms dealer by trade.
Carmen
...I remember. You are that roving trader selling firearms and first aid supplies.
But what you just said about my Captain makes you another competitor.
Arms Dealer
If you put it that way...
Epindel
...Are you sure? You are not even a Savior.
Arms Dealer
Oh, I'm not the one who'll be doing the heavy lifting.
BFB? To my location.
Haha, whew! I admit I was worried things were running behind schedule!
Allow me to introduce to you my creation, equipped with a rotary autocannon, composite armor, and a miniature analytical engine...
The magnum opus of Faren, the city of puppets... a refitted BBB, the bestselling military-grade automaton...
The BFB, Ballistic Fortress Bride!
Epindel
...Is that a skirt?
Made of metal.
Carmen
It even has a bouquet.
Sticking out of the barrels.
Arms Dealer
Refitting took longer than planned, I almost thought I would miss the opportunity to join, hahaha!
At any rate! My BFB will take your Captain to safety.
Carmen
You do understand how absurd that sounds, don't you?
Arms Dealer
Absurd, yes, maybe...
But I beg to differ. It is the most sensible option given the concern for the Captain's safety.
Epindel
That's—
Arms Dealer
Both of you are young ladies in your prime.
And both of you are fighting tooth and nail to keep the Captain out of other women's reach.
Wouldn't you agree the whole picture suggests a motivation that's rather personal?
Your efforts to safeguard the Captain are in fact working against the goals which you claim to pursue.
Because when anyone with a lick of sense looks at you...
All they see are two fervid competitors clawing their way to the top to win the ultimate prize.
Carmen
...
Epindel
...You try to sound as if you are different.
Arms Dealer
Of course I am.
After all, it's the BFB, my giant robot, that will be walking down the aisle with the Captain.
Epindel
What does that have to do with this?
Arms Dealer
Oh, please. Think.
Even if the BFB marches its way toward the church with the Captain by its side, not a single person in Lavistar would think he is actually marrying it.
Carmen
Th-that's...
Arms Dealer
I suppose there are those who proclaim that anything is possible in this day and age... but it'll invite far less misunderstanding than either of you.
Epindel
All you did was sow discord, feed off the chaos, and drag a war machine all the way to NOA.
And here you stand, declaring yourself the Captain's guardian angel. For what? To restore peace?
I find it hard to believe you are motivated by altruism.
Arms Dealer
Ahh, as one would expect from the Falconet of Orlan. Most perceptive!
As you said, I have no interest in acting for some greater good.
But I will have you know I am not in the least interested in some silly romance.
I aim to win. To claim the title of champion.
To win the Captain's hand in marriage, many powerful contenders have gathered in NOA.
The Wind Moon Sect's superstar, even the Deputy Master of Monastir herself, and of course, you, the heiress of House Orlan.
What better way to prove my abilities than to have my creation defeat Lavistar's finest in the eyes of many?
If I can demonstrate to the masses that I can quell the unrest while keeping our guest of honor unscathed...
My Ballistic Fortress Brides will be flying off the shelves!
All of this just for a sales pitch...
Arms Dealer
Sales pitch? Come now, Captain. To some, it is a matter of putting bread on the table.
But enough with the talk. I will be escorting you now.
Oh, and if you truly wish the best for the Captain, and not to make matters worse for the streets...
Please stay out of my way.
Carmen
...
Epindel
This is none of your business!
Not one step closer! I will cut you down!
Carmen
W-wait—
Arms Dealer
Hmm, your lack of cooperation has been noted. But... that's not all bad.
After all, a show of strength is just as important.
BFB?
Pacify them.
The arms dealer's fancy showcasing was no idle boast—the automaton's firepower was devastating.
The hail of bullets fired from its cannon effectively pinned Carmen and Epindel down.
Epindel
Argh... suppressive fire...
But that won't be a problem—not if I outrun its aim!
Arms Dealer
So persistent...
Ms. Epindel, are you actually... serious about this fight?
Epindel
...!
Arms Dealer
The itinerant nature of my occupation allows me to hear many things.
For one, House Orlan treats courtship as a political maneuver rather than a private matter.
Epindel
Don't go running your mouth like you know anything—
Arms Dealer
Oh, please.
You engage in interpersonal relationships in a cold, calculated manner.
And that is rather a disadvantage when it comes to competing for a popular man like the Captain, wouldn't you agree?
What I am saying is this: by the time you stopped swooning over some handkerchief, other women would've had their fill of the Captain.
Epindel
...!
Arms Dealer
Do you seriously wish to fight a battle whose outcome is already decided?
You have so much to lose.
Your family's name, personal reputation...
Epindel
That's...
BFB
<<Opening detected.>>
Carmen
Behind you!
Epindel
What? Ahhh!
Carmen
Fall back!
I will cover you—
Arms Dealer
Deputy Master Carmen. I also have something to say to you.
You said your objective is to keep the Captain out of harm's way.
That makes us allies. If so, why are we fighting?
Carmen
...
Arms Dealer
Is your objective an excuse? A ploy to hide your true intent?
Carmen
A ploy, you say? Like how you're dragging this out until you find an opportunity to strike?
Arms Dealer
Hahaha, how sharp.
But let's not change the subject.
Deep inside, you want to defeat the other candidates, drive them into the ground. You can be the next May Bride, if only for a short moment.
...All the while using your "bodyguard duties" as an excuse.
Carmen
...
You can try to distract me with your words...
Arms Dealer
Oh, but I did.
And the famed Shield of Monastir cannot even see the attacks coming, can she?
Carmen
?!
The smell of gunpowder stings the nose.
Dresses ruined and veils torn, they begin the waltz of descent, dancing to the lament of the fallen.
Before me lie Carmen and Epindel, motionless on the ground.
Carmen! Epindel!
And lumbering my way is a ponderous automaton, its cheeks glowing red...
Arms Dealer
I may only be an expert in weapons, and not in war...
But as a man who has walked across many battlefields, I am certain of one fact.
Only those who are serious enough to stake their all have the right to seize victory.
Well then, Captain. Let us get going.
Don't worry. You're in safe hands.
BFB? Restrain him.
The automaton opened its belly, shooting a metal claw that grabbed me by the waist.
BFB
<<Capture successful!>>
<<You are now a prisoner of my love!>>
Ahhh! Let me go!
And what's with the lines?! Isn't this just a combat robot?!
Arms Dealer
Oh, that's just a vocalization add-on to liven things up.
By the way, are you an anything-is-possible type...?
As if!
Arms Dealer
Hahaha! There's no need to be shy. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.
Now, to the church!
Adios!
Story and illustrations © Studio B-Side. An unofficial reading archive — for questions or requests, see the About page.