Wedding Wars: For the May Bride · Chapter 8
Can You Even Act Cute?
Epindel
There. Through that building... hm?
???
The first plan may have failed!
But there's always a second one!
So believe in me, the cute and smart Petra! ♪
I recognize that voice...
Epindel
It's coming from that alley.
Bride A
So what's the plan?
Petra
It's simple! ♪ I littered the place with PISS, Petra's Infiltration and Stealth Smokebombs!
First, we hide behind a corner!
Bride B
A corner?
Petra
Second, we detonate the bombs when the Captain comes!
Bride A
When he comes!
Petra
And then!
Bride B
And then?!
Petra
We nab him and make a run for it! ♪
Bride A
Whoa...!
Bride B
And then?
Petra
Hm? What?
Bride B
And then what? We can't split him three-way. Only one of us can have him!
Petra
Darn it, these guys are smarter than they look...
A-about that... we can think about it later! ♪
For now, we lie in wait for the Captain!
You were right, they really are preparing an ambush.
Epindel
Did you have doubts? You wound me, Captain.
Petra
Left, right, forward, below!
Watch every direction!
Bride A
Hey, l-look!
It's the Captain!
Petra
What? Nyaha?! Right in front of us?!
Hi, Petra.
Petra
Captaaain! Long time no see!
If you were looking for a bride, you should've looked for Petra!
Recruiting brides while leaving Petra out completely? Petra is sooo hurt!
So is that girl your type?
Bride A
What are you doing! That's the target!
Bride B
Where's that smoke trap?!
Petra
N-nyahaha... so about that.
Petra hasn't set up any over there.
...
P-Plan B! Taunt them!
Bride A
You're gonna keep running? C'mon, bring it on!
Bride B
Boo, coward! You're weak!
Have you lost your nerve? Figures.
...You're fine with this, right, Epindel?
Epindel
Oh my, those words actually hurt more, Captain.
Throwing cheap invectives is but whistling in the wind.
The sons and daughters of House Orlan could teach the mountains a thing or two about immovability.
Bride A
I don't think it's working...
Petra
Boo... Boooo...
Captain! Captaaain!
Epindel
So I advise you to maintain composure as—
Petra
D-don't fall for a sulky kid like that!
Pick Petra instead! I'm nice and cute! And dedicated too!
Epindel
...!
Did you call me... sulky?
Petra
Duh!
Petra is cuter! Petra smiles more!
Petra is the only one who can make the Captain happy!
Epindel
...
D-don't mind me, Captain. I am perfectly—
Petra
Petra is committed!
Petra doesn't play silly mind games!
Epindel
...Calm.
Bride A
...I can hear her grind her teeth all the way from here! She's triggered!
Bride B
Keep going! I think you're onto something!
Petra
She's a sheltered noble girl! She probably doesn't even know how to cook!
She'll take away your independence! You will live off a rich family's pocket money, caged in a mansion run by maids and housekeepers!
Your only purpose will be to sculpt your body for her eyes, fed on aphrodisiacs like prized cattle!
Is that the kind of life you want, Captain?
Is this true?!
Epindel stopped in her tracks.
E-Epindel?
Epindel
...I see.
Your calumnies against House Orlan and its traditions have reached an intolerable level.
The only appropriate response to your libels...
Is the sword.
Hey! You're the one who told me to stay cool!
Epindel
Excuse me? Oh please, you jest.
I merely wish to make an example of them to show what happens to those who tarnish the reputation of my family.
What more tactical and calculated decision than this could there be?
She totally got under your skin...!
Epindel
I pray you've been well. All three of you.
You seemed quite knowledgeable of House Orlan's traditions.
Then you must know that an Orlan shows little tolerance for anyone who dares question their honor.
Draw your blade. Let us see if it matches the sharpness of your tongue.
En garde!
Petra
Go guys, go!
Buy me some time while I ready the bombs!
Epindel
First! I have no desire to make a trophy of the Captain!
Bride A
Argh!
Epindel
Second! I shall neither seize his finances nor lock him in the house!
Bride B
Gah!
Epindel
What do you take House Orlan for?!
Yeah! That's a total violation of human rights!
So you actually won't do it...
Petra
She cut them down like they were nothing...
...
Nyahaha... So, maybe Petra went a bit too far with the insults...?
Epindel
Oh my, you are slow on the uptake, aren't you?
Petra
Yeah, yeah! I'm in the wrong, so let's talk this out—
Epindel
Then pay your debt, cat!
Petra
Petra's fox, not a—nyah!
H-Hnya!
Epindel
Take responsibility for your actions!
Petra
Y-you can really do things?
What about sewing?!
Epindel
I mended my own clothes!
I could patch the Captain's coat with my eyes shut!
How do you think I survived in my family?!
Petra
Then what about cooking?!
Epindel
I cook! I'm a seasoned expert at homemade meals!
Do you even know how to turn pork lard and rind into a gourmet soup?
Or perhaps the art of coloring its broth using caramelized onions?
Petra
...
P-Petra was planning to take the Captain out to restaurants, so that doesn't matter—
Epindel
I can also take him out to dinner too!
Petra
Nyaaah?!
Epindel! Slow down!
You're going deeper into the alley!
Petra
It's a dead end...
Epindel
My my, no retreat for you.
Petra
Oh no...
Epindel
Now let us hear a formal apology from you—
Petra
Th-then... Can you make the Captain smile?!
Epindel
...!
Make... him... smile?
Petra
That's right! I'm talking about making him feel all warm and fuzzy inside!
Petra can! What about you, huh?
Epindel
I... I...
Petra
Oh honeeey! Would you like to treat yourself to a hot bath?
Or would you like to eat first?
Or, maybe eat me-ow? ♥
You don't even know how to do that, do you?!
But Petra can! I can even do it wearing nothing but an apron!
Epindel
I-I can too!
Petra
...Oh yeah?
...Wait, you actually can?
Epindel
So...
Captain—I mean, my beloved! Would you like to eat first?
Or take a bath?!
Or... eat... me... ow?
Petra
...
...
Petra
I don't know about you, but...
Yeaaah, it's not really there—
Epindel
Silence!
I'm going to kill myself after I kill you both!
When Epindel stepped forward, something clicked beneath her foot.
Petra
Oh.
Come to think of it, Petra put a bomb here—
Epindel
Eeek!
Petra
Nyaaah!
Petra!
Epindel!
Are you still alive?
Epindel
...
I'm fine, Captain.
It appears I was lured into a trap.
Very well, she got me. I will hand it to her.
I doubt it was intended on her part...
Epindel
I agree. Otherwise, she wouldn't have launched herself into kingdom come.
...
And... Captain?
As much as I know you are of a kind spirit, and therefore n-no words are necessary...
What you heard earlier... were all lies, designed to lay me low.
...Care to elaborate?
Epindel
I know how to cook! I know everything about housekeeping!
A-and about the wearing-nothing-but-an-apron part... I will be sure to consider it...
What I am trying to say is, I hope there is no misunderstanding between us—
...Ow.
Huh?
As Epindel tried to get back on her feet, she grabbed her ankle, wincing.
Epindel
Never mind me. It's only a scratch from the blast...
What do you mean, "sit down"? There is no need for—
W-wait, don't push—
Ngh!
Hold still.
I'm going to roll up your skirt a bit, okay?
Epindel
I-I said it's unnecessary!
...
P-please be gentle.
This might hurt a little.
Epindel
Okay... hngh!
So... Captain?
About this...
This stays between us, okay?
???
Oh my.
Huh?
Epindel
You...?
Carmen
I'm glad to see you're safe, Captain.
In fact...
...You seem to be enjoying yourself quite a bit.
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